Psychology of the Earth-Bound Gamer

{DISCLAIMER /begin} If you are not aware of it by now, I am a professional gamer (among other things) and this article is primarily intended for those who share my passion. If you are not a gamer, then alot of this will not make sense to you. This post has NOT been edited for language. {DISCLAIMER /end}

Gamers are strange little fuckers.

The psychology of the earth-bound gamer is one with which I am intimately familiar, yet I do not think I will ever truly grasp its myriad of complexities in its entirety.

When I am talking about gamers here, I do not mean anyone who games. That would be a broad generalization and quite frankly unfair. When I say gamer I am talking about those select few who game all the time. They play regularly on a set day at least weekly, they know what THAC0 stands for, they have three wives in Everquest they have never actually met in real life, you get the point.

Oh yeah! you might be saying..."GAMERS...as in prototypical geeks, nerds, losers, etc. Often found lingering in vaguely smelly specialty shops (either dedicated to comics, games, computers, or some combination there of) dressed in black T-Shirts offering their vastly amusing (at least to them) opinions to anyone who will listen, bragging about their amazing intellects, and quite frankly...probably suffering from some manner of odious personal habit."

I am a gamer.

I am here to dispel your illusions and shatter some of these notions about gamers. We are not all like the aforementioned generalization. Granted, there are some of us that do meet those standards, but not ALL of are total turds. So what are gamers like you ask? Well, I counter with what are jocks like? What are skater-punks like? What are ricers like? Gamer is as much a worthless societal tag left over from juvenile trauma as any of those other stereotypes. But for some reason, we have embraced the title and made it our own.

Okay, then what makes a gamer tick? Why are they the way they are? Just what is it about this increasingly less of a rare breed that spawned this diatribe?

Well...let me tell you what I have seen.

There are some gamers that are general shit-bags in real life and all they are concerned with playing in whatever game they are involved with is the biggest, baddest, toughest, bullet-eatin', sumabitch ever to walk the earth. Then you have the idiots who play geniuses, social pariahs who play charismatic cooze magnets, etc etc. I think for these types the whole role playing exercise is merely an extension of childhood escape fantasies and in fact, probably points to a more serious expression of arrested development lying just beneath the surface of their psyche made manifest.

Then you have the types, and these are often the most diverse in real life, who want role playing to be an expression of challenge wherein no risk is worth its wait unless it is matched by (in my opinion) an overcompensatory amount of risk to their fantastic character. Here you see people who set about to build a truly fantastic character within a completely imaginary-bound framework only to see their would-be hero brought low by the forces of bacteria or an overly complicated critical hit system that results in overly descriptive means of self mutilation. To me, and I am sure this isn't true in all cases, this points to an expression of fear motivated by insecurities.

Many of these people that I have interacted with over the years, I feel enjoy this type of game because it reinforces their subliminal self in its place within the real world. In other words, if such bold and powerful heroes can be defeated so quickly, easily, and with such grim results my chances as a real person in the real world are that much better! i.e. they feel week in their real existance and by playing a persona that is over-idealized and in turn, subsequently defeated by the banal they draw their own internal power.

Then you have your softball types. These guys are the ones that after years of playing the same game never bother to learn the rules and they often turn to those that have taken that time (repeatedly) to manage their characters for them. Now, one might argue that this is an expression of enablement on behalf of the learned, but I argue that this isn't the case.

The softball types don't care about such complicated things as I have previously mentioned. All they game for is the social element and the time with their friends. It is no different to them than a Sunday softball game. Some in fact take the experience to the next level and try to turn the RPG into a competitive process because they are determined to win, failing to realize in their efforts to do so that winning and final score tallying is antithetical to the RPG process. These types can be a huge boor at the gaming table (assuming of course their game takes place at a table) as they are often the first to disrespect the Game Master (sometimes unintentionally) and other players by either being disruptive, not showing up for the game, canceling at the last minute, etc.

Sometimes we gamers get so wrapped up in the state of the game that we forget what this is really all about: spending quality time with our friends, sharing in a modern expression of an ancient tradition. The tradition I am speaking of here is of course, story telling. Now obviously there are many gamers out there that do not share this opinion, and that is fine, but for those who do, I think you will see what I am talking about here. Running, and playing in, a good game is a responsibility for all involved. This especially holds true for that growing segment of the adult population who gather weekly for some quality time around a table to bash orcs, save princesses, and defeat mad overlords hell bent on destruction. As adults, we owe it to ourselves to make sure that we have a good solid mix of personality types, but at the same time we need to make sure that everyone has at least a modicum of everyone elses' expectations. When these issues are not addressed it will cause the game, and sometimes the social paradigms that revolve around it, to fail.

When a game "fails" it has been my experience that it isn't any one person's fault and in fact, if there had been a certain level of communication and proactive conflict resolution measures taken prior to the campaign's begining, much strife and heartache could have been avoided.

We all game for different reasons, and the three generalizations I have described above are hardly applicable to all players or for that matter any single player all the time. Moods, opinions, and motivations change as time crawls slowly by. Whenever a new game begins it is very important that everyone participating sit down prior to and discuss their level of expectations. This helps everyone involved maintain realistic goals. Ultimately this also allows the participants a final chance to bow out gracefully if they see that their own expectations are not going to be met by the remaining majority.

This can be hard on the adult gamer, as often times friendships are the single thing that we have struggled with the most in our lives. As a result of this, we tend to let our own feelings and values take a back seat to the expressions of others. I am not arguing against synergy or compromise. All to often because of the nature of the hobby at large and the view points of those involved (it's just a game, dude); valuable relationships suffer due to fear-based motivators bound by insecurities, a fear of confrontations, and an unwillingness to communicate.

In the mind-set of the serious gamer, those like myself who are mature enough to admit that what we are engaging in is a "lifestyle hobby" and not an immature badge of shame, there are certain behaviors and admissions that must be dealt with before we can take truly understand ourselves, and in turn be understood. Many would cringe at my abiilty to vocally embrace a hobby such as gaming as openly as I do. These people are just latching on to old stigmas. Being an avid gamer is no different than being an avid poker player, an avid Nascar fan, an avid stamp collector, or an avid amateur geneologist. Everyone has a passion, and in an idela world none of us should be persecuted for embracing whatever that passion is.

For some reason, however, gamers continue to live with this stigma attached to them. I have personally witnessed people deride gamers for their hobby and it's related spending habits who would in turn never cast a second thought on their own obsessive desire to watch every football game and participate in multiple Fantasy sports leagues. It isn't the rest of the world that needs to accept gamers, it is gamers who need to accept gamers. Until we do though, we will continue to make the same sacrafices with our hobby which ultimately will lead to a bad gaming experience. Bad gaming experiences lead to bitterness, bitterness leads to hatred, and hatred leads to the dark side.

Often, it is the very people we game with that are the biggest problem! Specifically some of the types like I mentioned above. Well, I say you should probably clean house around the gaming table if this is the case for you.

Often we feel compelled to continually play with the same cast of players, and I feel that breaking this false barrier will go towards allowing us to achieve a better gaming experience.
My friends are my friends, regardless of how much table time we spend together. I have coem to finally realize, that not all of my friends should game with me. I also have come to realize that I have very good friends that I want in my life, but friends whom I do not want to game with! Therefore, it is my responsibility to maintain those friendships outside of gaming if gaming together is no longer a viable expression of the relational social dynamic.

Since I have adopted this attitude there have been many positive changes in my life. One such example is the group of men and women I call friends. I have the most loyal and loving, supportive and rewarding, genuinely good in all ways, groups of friends I could ever want for. Many of them are gamers, some are not.

Disattaching the gaming experience from my qualifications for friendship has allowed me to become quite close with people whom I normally would have never rolled a die (and in some instances still have not). It has also allowed me to build trusting relationships with my friends that I do game with. In turn, these new levels of relationships, support the game (my passion, my hobby) that much more.

Before my Celebrity Gamers and I start a new campaign we have several planning and discussion sessions until such time that each player (GM included) feels that not only have their goals and expectations been accurately represented but that they will in turn be met within the confines of the gaming experience. That is why my games last so long, that is what everyone wants. This process of course is not infallible or without flaw.

Occasionally problems arise that this type of positive preparation do no good. The thing is with these types of things though, is the bulk of the influencing factors on one player's actions and another player's reaction have their root causes farther back than any game or other relationship they may share. This, I believe stems from the same social issues that drive us into what was once a loner's hobby in the first place.

Building a solid relationship on trust and communication can greatly elliminate or reduce these issues. Between truly honest and respectful friends, what could easily devolve into a life altering emotional and psycholigical hurricane, can instead be turned into a premium opportunity to communicate more effectively. In the end, you may even find yourselves learning things about each other that would otherwise have not been revealed.

This has proved to be of a great help to me and my gaming group. My own experience has taught me that we are all closer for it. Are you getting the idea that perhaps I have given this kind of thing thought before?

My game of choice of course is Dungeons and Dragons. Some prefer computer games, some prefer other table top roleplaying games, some prefer collectible card games. As for me, I stick with the basics. Over the years DnD has brought more wonderful people into my life than anything else I have ever experienced and I have no intention of ever giving it up. At the end of the day though, my motivation to do it all is pretty simple.

I am like most other gamers, I think. When I play I want to succeed in a grandoise manner, I want to be heroic, I want to be big, I want fame. To me that is more fun, and for the life of me I will never understand those that do not play this way, but I know that they exist and from a purely psychological angle their miserable experiences shared in front of televisions and video game consols are a poor alternative to taking our imagination out for a spin. So for power gaming munchkin fuck heads like me we have games like DnD where it is easy to succeed, and in fact the core rules are designed to almost to guarentee it. For everyone else there is Harn.

Finally, and this observation will most likely only make sense to the truly hard-core gamers I will offer what I see as an interesting sidenote, and potential source of social commentary:

I find it immensely interesting that the only games that survived the financial crunch that devastated the gaming market in the nineties, are those same games that contain the most clever rule breaks and the most intriguing settings and detail within their settings. All of the pessimistic systems, such as Harn, Rolemaster, and Champions (while often being bandied about by loyal fans on the 'net) are now either out of business or well on their way.

The munchkins, however, continue to march on.

As ever, I remain...

Son of Simp